Anyone ever struggled with ..

KPlumm · Post by **KPlumm** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:48 pm

deciding whether or not to invite anyone else along on a trip to St John? My husband and I have been to St John 4 times, with our fifth trip booked for next May. We have been by ourselves for all but one trip when we brought our three kids and my mother along. This next trip we kind of want to bring another couple along with us, since we know that they would love the island. But at the same time, we kind of want to be by ourselves again (wouldn't be comfortable doing that nekkid thing around the villa thing with another couple!). So we are struggling with the pluses and the minuses of having company.

Anyone else ever go through this dilemma?

Karen

mbw1024 · Post by **mbw1024** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:55 pm

yup. not to STJ specifically since we have never been there, but on vacation in general. went on a cruise last year with some friends and while it was great at times there were also times I wanted it to be just us. easier to just go and do what you want to do. I would think this would be especially hard when we are on a vacation which is dependent on cars. You either get 2 or have to be one that can go with the flow.

Xislandgirl · Post by **Xislandgirl** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:07 pm

We vacation alot with other couples, we have found that you just gave to have realistic expectations. We talk before hand about what we want out of the vacation. It is possible to have a great vacation with other people, you just have to talk a lot before you leave.

KPlumm · Post by **KPlumm** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:15 pm

Yes, we have talked alot and I think that we would be OK. They are interested, but the husband wants to do another trip first. The wife on the other hand told me that decision wasn't final (I think that she would prefer to come with us). We're struggling with trying to persuade them as opposed to forgetting about it. We're going for 11 days. I think that the best would be to have them join us for 7. That we would have the best of both!

liamsaunt · Post by **liamsaunt** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:20 pm

Yep. John and I went through this with this year's trip. We booked a split stay in two villas, and invited my parents to join us for the week we had at Argonauta. Unfortunately, almost right after our booking, my Dad was diagnosed with skin cancer. He was successfully treated, but his doctor specifically said "no" to the Caribbean in summer. So, there we were, with this huge house, and just the two of us.

We are very close with my sister, and her kids, plus right now her husband is deployed in Iraq, with all that implies. We thought long and hard about bringing them down with us for that week--we had the room and all that, but could we handle St. John with kids? We just didn't know.

Ultimately, we decided to just go ourselves. My nephew has some life threatening food allergies, and a forumite emailed me to remind me to think about what would happen if he had a reaction on the island. Urgh.

Of course, this means that at the moment John and I are in the process of booking a trip to Disney with my sister, niece and nephew! I assure you that the children are just as interested in the villa selection process for Orlando as we all are for St. John. The first photo they want to see for potential villas, is, of course, the pool.

Winnie · Post by **Winnie** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:42 pm

We've been to St. John with just our immediate family, our entire family (for a reunion), and just our kids and my sister & brother-in-law. This time we'll be bringing our son's girlfriend, plus Sis and her DH again. For me, part of the joy of STJ is sharing it with others, especially when they've never been there before. Of course it depends on the people, and having more than one jeep and time apart helps. I think it just makes it that much more fun...

flip-flop · Post by **flip-flop** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:50 pm

My hubby and I have been 3 times now and have planned our 4th trip. Everytime we've traveled with others. First trip with good friends who introduced us to the island after honeymooning there. Second was our turn to introduce a college friend and her sister to the island. Third was with the first couple and a new couple and our 3 year old and their 1 year old --- I know branching out. Next trip will be with preggo me, our 4.5 year old, hubby, my mom and her friend.

Now that I think of it, it seems kind of strange that we've never been alone, but we are sociable laid back people who like hanging out with others. Believe me we have alone time too and try to take a just us trip or two a year, but we really enjoy the island more when we share it with others.

It is important to know your personality and that of your traveling companions. I'd never choose to go with someone clingy who NEEDS my direction at every turn. If you choose carefully it can be the best of both worlds.

StJohnRuth · Post by **StJohnRuth** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:55 pm

Experiencing St. John with people for the first time is such a blast, I'd ride around with complete stangers just to experience it if I had the time.

Regarding your original post, I agree that seperate cars is critical.
-Ruth

Splasher54 · Post by **Splasher54** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 8:56 pm

WE traveled last January with three other cuples and had a great time. This year we are traveling with our three children (in their twenties) a friend each if they want to bring someone and we've asked a single friend and one of the other couples to join us again. I think it's great to share with friends and families. We also talked before the trip last time about expectations and everything went great. You'll have a great time no matter what you do!

Jan&MikeVa · Post by **Jan&MikeVa** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:55 am

We've done STJ both ways, and there is something VERY SPECIAL about seeing a first time visitor's reaction!

A couple of ideas, from our own experience.

First, make sure your villa has plenty of SPACE. Your bedroom should be a retreat, good for napping or reading. It was nothing for one or both of us to escape to our room for a few hours in the late afternoon.

The other thing that has worked for us is that each couple get a "villa day". One couple gets the vehicle and their choice of what to do around the island while the other couple gets the villa to themselves ALL DAY (or a set time). Then another day it's the other couples turn. No hurt feelings, we were up front about this in the beginning and it worked out great!

Happy planning, we're trying for this December......just hubby and I this go round!

Jan

susan & herb · Post by **susan & herb** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:33 am

We have been traveling to the caribbean for about 12 years now and interestingly enough, we have always gone by ourselves, by choice. Even though our kids are grown, we kind of reconnect when we are away alone.
Two years ago we asked our friends to join us on our first trip to St John. They came down three days after us, which gave us some time alone. We had a great time, but our friend is is hyper and even though we enjoyed our time together, we felt like we really didn't mellow out.
This year we went with my cousin and his wife, who are the complete opposite of our friends, they are lay back, into eastern religion, yoga and are vegetarians. We had a teriffic time also.
The most important things are bedrooms that are separate from each other, so you have your privacy and up front with each other as to what you are looking for on vacation. We only had one car both times and had no problems. We had said up front, that if the other couple wanted to do something alone, or different than what we were doing, it was fine. Our hyper friend likes to gamble at nite when he is away and we told him up front, there is no gambling on St John. He actually was fine.
We don't turn on the TV for the whole time we are away (usually 10 days) and we told him no TV. He would sneak the TV on when we were not around. No bid deal. As he is hyper, he was up at 7am making breakfast for everyone, and would wake us to sound of the Bee Gees "Staying Alive" every morning. We loved it! Gotta know who your going with, or it could be a disaster.

bill · Post by **bill** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 9:12 pm

we have gone through similiar feelings about inviting people with us or not. there are only a few close friends we would consider, but in the end we go by ourselves= my husband and I. we usually really need to get away after working so hard for a year to get back to the islands, that we need time alone.not in the mood to deal with much. we can just get up and do what we want when we want. also, we always brought our kids and then our kids friends when they got older. kind of nice to be free at last!!!

Winnie · Post by **Winnie** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:31 pm

Susan and Herb reminded me of one of the things I love about traveling with my sister & brother-in-law -- my b-in-law is an early riser and, sometime in his distant past, was a short order cook. So every morning we get to wake up to a fully cooked breakfast -- yum! Also my DH is a good cook, too, but somehow when the two of them get together, they really sizzle (no pun intended)

So Sis & I get to sip wine in the hot tub while they try to outdo each other, putting together something fabulous for dinner. Now that's what I call a real vacation. Can you tell I'm getting psyched

Virginia-Gal · Post by **Virginia-Gal** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:11 am

We are going to St John in April and thought about asking another couple to go with us but............we didn't have a great experience the last time someone went with us on vacation. We were on a cruise last spring and the couple that went with us were: clingy, nothing seemed to suit them, hardly ever got anything to drink because it might cost them, wasn't intereted in meeting people, etc... See what I mean? So, we decided to go back to going alone. My hubby is more of a social person than I am so it affects him more than me. I tend to want us to have a week alone.

Our son who is 21 says he thinks he'd like to go but still hasn't made up his mind. (I was shocked and pleasantly surprised he wanted to go with us!) I hope he goes so he and I can reconnect. So much has happened in the last 3 years of his life that he and I are no longer close and I hate that.

Jumbiegirl · Post by **Jumbiegirl** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:34 am

We have traveled with friends several times and have had mixed results. The key is that you have your own vehicle. I can't stress that enough. You'll never get everyone to agree on an activity and a time every day. When we go with another couple we usualy let each have the "best" bedroom half the time as well.

If you're going with a couple that hasn't been to St John before it's best to take a tour of the island together the first day so they get the lay of the land. Then let them do their own thing the rest of the time. Sometimes you'll want to do the same things -- sometimes not. I found it works best when each has their own space.

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