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JT
Posts: 1515
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 4:26 pm
Location: MD

Post by JT »

[quote="California Girl"]

Elephant Parts by Mike Nesmith!


Ah, yes, Mr Nesmith. The father of the music video.
People say he was just Monkeeing around
When you find yourself in a hole.... quit digging.
California Girl

Post by California Girl »

JT wrote:
California Girl wrote:
Elephant Parts by Mike Nesmith!


Ah, yes, Mr Nesmith. The father of the music video.
People say he was just Monkeeing around
Nah, he was too busy singin' to put anybody down. 8)
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JT
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Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 4:26 pm
Location: MD

Post by JT »

Just a bit off color:

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, were vacationing in Texas.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looks him over, "Nope."
Frustrated Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looks up and says, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope," she replies.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"
Margaret replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."
When you find yourself in a hole.... quit digging.
California Girl

Post by California Girl »

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!
California Girl

Post by California Girl »

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California Girl

Post by California Girl »

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/N7zoxowo710&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/N7zoxowo710&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
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pipanale
Posts: 1335
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 8:06 am
Location: Raleigh, NC

Post by pipanale »

This is why we have angels on our Christmas Trees.

Santa and Mrs Claus had just finished up a fight. It was dark, and Santa stormed out of bed. In the process he tripped over some toys.
Seething, he went downstairs just as the doorbell rang.
There, at the door, was an angel holding the most beautiful Christmas Tree ever.
"Where can I put this, Santa?"
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shoemak38
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Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Southern New Hamphire

Post by shoemak38 »

broken link
Last edited by shoemak38 on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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shoemak38
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Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Southern New Hamphire

Post by shoemak38 »

broken link
Last edited by shoemak38 on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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shoemak38
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Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Southern New Hamphire

Post by shoemak38 »

broken link
Last edited by shoemak38 on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
California Girl

Post by California Girl »

Comments overheard as the new economy sets in:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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shoemak38
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Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Southern New Hamphire

Post by shoemak38 »

broken link
Last edited by shoemak38 on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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shoemak38
Posts: 2370
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Southern New Hamphire

Post by shoemak38 »

broken link
Last edited by shoemak38 on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
jmq
Posts: 2373
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:32 am
Location: NJ

Post by jmq »

This "Look out!" bit on the Daily Show last week slayed me.

<object width="512" height="296"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/rbH7rq6lO2s5y ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/rbH7rq6lO2s5ya3EssrO5A" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" width="512" height="296"></embed></object>
When we come to place where the sea and the sky collide
Throw me over the edge and let my spirit glide
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shoemak38
Posts: 2370
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:55 pm
Location: Southern New Hamphire

Post by shoemak38 »

broken link
Last edited by shoemak38 on Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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