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The Festivus Thread

A place for members to talk about things outside of Virgin Islands travel.

Moderator: The Mgmt.

Postby pipanale » Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:19 pm

"Hello?"
"Since I never know what time dinner is because the turkey always takes a different amount of time to cook, I'll call you when I know when dinner is. I assume you're coming"
"Oh...I went shopping. I didn't want to just invite us over"
"Oh"
"We'll come for dessert"

I swear (and if you're easily offended, stop reading NOW!!!)

My mother should be Jewish.

We Italians are good at guilt, but she's good at trying to lay it on me.

I give up.

More wine, please!
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Postby PA Girl » Wed Nov 23, 2011 10:48 pm

linne wrote:Your topics are always fun to read, Pipanale, but I have to say that this one is very complicated for a "not too good speaking English" woman to understand :D :D Perhaps I don't know enough about your family.

Linne


Linne,

Sometimes I wonder if the type of wacky (crazy) family behavior we tell stories about is uniquely American.

My father's side of the family is German and I cannot remember any of the immediate or extended family behaving badly. We would stay with them for weeks at a time and in turn, they would visit us in America for weeks and months at a time. Everyone was nice, polite and considerate.

On the other hand, put American relatives together for one day and all hell breaks loose.
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Postby linne » Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:41 am

PA Girl wrote:
linne wrote:Your topics are always fun to read, Pipanale, but I have to say that this one is very complicated for a "not too good speaking English" woman to understand :D :D Perhaps I don't know enough about your family.

Linne


Linne,

Sometimes I wonder if the type of wacky (crazy) family behavior we tell stories about is uniquely American.

My father's side of the family is German and I cannot remember any of the immediate or extended family behaving badly. We would stay with them for weeks at a time and in turn, they would visit us in America for weeks and months at a time. Everyone was nice, polite and considerate.

On the other hand, put American relatives together for one day and all hell breaks loose.


Of course we also can have some problems between family members, but normally
we try to behave ourselves, if we are together.

PA girl

My experiences about a family get together are far away from Pip’s story, and I’m still not quit sure

1. if there is something I misunderstand
2. if the families, I know are more boring
3. if there are different habits in USA than in Denmark (have never visited an American family).
4. or perhaps, as Pip indicates, that his family is very special

But according to you PA girl, it could be number 3 reason :? ?

Linne
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby pipanale » Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:32 pm

Like a fungus. We're back!

"Um. This pork is rotten"
No its not. Its marinated
No. Its rotten
Why do you always f---ing say things like this?
Because the f---ing pork is rotten
Its just marinated
I don't care. I'm not f---ing eating it
-December 22

Umm..these aren't lamb chops
No, I had them cut up a leg of lamb
With a reciprocating saw?
What's the problem?
Have you looked at it? That's mainly my problem. This should be stewed not grilled
Shut up.
(Eats more dip because this is gonna be bad)

Did that casserole set?
Was it meant to?
I don't know
Because it didn't. We seem to be baking soup at this point
It will be fine
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby DonnaM » Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:58 pm

How did I miss this 2 years ago? So damn funny! I only have 2 halfway decent stories to share. On thanksgiving several years ago, my aunt and uncle left taking with them their freshly washed pie plates that they brought pies in. My uncle drops one of the ceramic plates in my garage where it shatters into a hundred pieces. My kids and their cousins are playing outside and hear him say, Donna will find it as he walks away. Really? Thank God my son ran inside and told me before anyone got hurt. The second was my MIL giving my 2 nieces mink scarves for Christmas a few years ago. The younger one is a vegetarian, studying to be a veterinarian and works for a animal rescue shelter in Philly. The look of horror on her face was something I will never forget and my dim witted MIL had no idea why the gift as such a bad idea.
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby shoemak38 » Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:00 pm

As we settled in with family and friends this Christmas eve, I like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby Connie » Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:03 pm

Great thread. Spent most of the day reading this.

I'm glad the holidays are over.
"Paradise...it's a state of mine"
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby pipanale » Sat Dec 29, 2012 8:24 pm

Just wait, my pretties. The 2012 edition is coming as soon as I sober up. Or, as I call it, "The year when my father and I saw eye to eye"
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby PA Girl » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:46 am

Sober up soon Pip, we are all waiting!
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby shoemak38 » Sun Dec 30, 2012 2:14 pm

Pipanale
while we wait for the alcoholic haze to lift from your mind you're anxiously awaiting audience will start making up things that your father and you see eye to eye.
I'll start
you and your father both believe you look good in flannel and your favorite color is hunter orange
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby pipanale » Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:05 am

It's been 2 years but we're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

If you're new around these parts, go read the whole thread. I can wait...

Well. Shock of shocks, I'm in trouble again. What did I do now? I can explain.

I'm in trouble for not doing things. That's understandable because they were important family-type things that have made me look like more of a callous jerk than I am.

But, there's one little detail that's worth mentioning. Nobody told me about the things that I needed to do. So, I'm in trouble and at the point of being told "Maybe we should not be a part of each others' lives" because I didn't do something that I didn't know I was supposed to have done.

Because that's how we roll. It isn't just burying the lede, it's hiding a detail that pertains to me in a message to someone else with the hope/assumption that it will get to me. Of course, you could have just asked ME to donate to the charity that you're working for OR have told me that you had a cancer scare and that things were OK. Or, you could mention it to a 3rd party and then get furious with me for not knowing about it. Because I need more confusion in my life.

Or, better yet, you can use a 12 year old as a go-between. So, everything that YOU say gets filtered through a child who's now caught in the middle and knows that what's going on is wrong and is trying to re-tell the stories in a way that pleases both sides. Because that's cool.

I'm not in the mood to be amusing right now...maybe later once someone gets salmonella from an undercooked turkey
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Re: The Festivus Thread

Postby shoemak38 » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:13 pm

pipanale wrote:It's been 2 years but we're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

If you're new around these parts, go read the whole thread. I can wait...


I'm not in the mood to be amusing right now...maybe later once someone gets salmonella from an undercooked turkey

You will be amused and you will like it or no soup for you :twisted: :twisted:

Imagejokes dec by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

Imagejokesmar by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr

Imagejokes jan by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr
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