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The Festivus Thread

A place for members to talk about things outside of Virgin Islands travel.

Moderator: The Mgmt.

Postby pipanale » Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:59 pm

I can't helped. I'm tapped after filling the prescription for my ulcer meds!
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Postby PA Girl » Tue Dec 21, 2010 5:01 pm

My dad stopped by with some things for Little PA. Dad gave orders that I not wrap up the gifts and "try to pass them off as Christmas presents"

Seriously dad, your grandson is 5 yo, what is the harm in you giving him a Christmas gift?

If you don't want to give a gift, fine, but don't drop stuff off four days before Christmas but restrict when and how the toys can be presented.

The reasons surrounding why no Christmas gifts (it is not religous or cultural) requires a supplemental thread.
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Postby bevm » Tue Dec 21, 2010 5:08 pm

One down...several thousand to go MB!!!
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Postby Xislandgirl » Tue Dec 21, 2010 5:17 pm

I wonder if there is a forum that all our relatives go to to talk about us?

Nay, mine aren't that smart :lol:
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Postby kklay » Wed Dec 22, 2010 11:54 am

Boy, I can't top most of these stories - what fun reading though! However, I do feel the need to vent about Thanksgiving at my BIL and SIL's house. They typically have Thanksgiving at their place and my husband and I have Christmas at our house. We don't have a large family (at least my side and my husband's is not big), so it's a friends a family event - ok - I'm digressing. . . . .so, a few years ago at Thanksgiving BIL & SIL had around 35 people at their nice 80's ranch-style house. Of course no room/table big enough for all so some are in the LR, some the DR and many were in the finished basement - it was great! Now fast forward to about 6 years later, they sell the ranch house and buy a mini McMansion in a new subdivision. We now get to eat in the GARAGE! Yes, it is heated, there is a TV to watch the football games and it is cleaned up, but they have this BIG, BEAUTIFUL HOUSE (and 2 years ago they finished the basement so even that would be an option), but we still are not allowed to eat in the house. That's why we decided to spend Thanksgiving this year in STJ! Oh - and by the way, this year they only had 15 for dinner!

Thanks for allowing me to vent. Now I'm ready for some vino!
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Postby pipanale » Fri Dec 24, 2010 10:58 am

And so it begins...not with a bang but with a drunken episode of bad parenting and Percocet-induced sleep.

On the 23rd, I had decided that all the kids would go to lunch and then off to race go-karts. There's nothing better than go-karting.

We all met up for lunch. D, the younger child, declared his food to be disgusting. Hooray for a happy holiday lunch.

JewelrySlut decided to head home after lunch, preferring to not risk having Moo lose her mind while watching us race around. She was wise. We arrived at Adventure Landing and bought our tickets. Shmuppie rode with Uncle Brother and the rest of us rode solo karts.

As luck would have it, my kart sucked ass. I was so slow. Not as slow, however, as SIL. For some reason, she just opted to put around at about 3MPH. After the race, she declared that she was going to sit in the car for the rest of the afternoon.

"I don't like doing stuff like this. I don't like go-karts and don't like arcade games."

Fine then...sit in the car and sulk. The rest of us bought a crapload of tokens and hit the skee-ball and pop-a-shot games. Much fun ensued. We did our 2nd race and, again, I had a crappy car. I was also forced off the track by some kid and hit a wrought-iron fence "Earnhardt Style". I needed Advil when we got home because I was in a good deal of pain.

We'd been invited over for dinner. My mother was making Wedding Soup apparently. OK...not what we'd had in mind, but we all knew this was coming. What we didn't know was just how horrid it would be.

We arrived, and immediately, everyone started yelling. It's really the only way. SIL's kids looked miserable. D was especially unhappy. He had a look on his face of "Why am I here? Who are these people? Why can't I be at home?"

Shmuppie got sent to her room because she decided that she wasn't getting enough attention and needed to start serving herself straight out of a bowl of tomato salad I'd been asked to make...by eating off the serving spoon. She was not happy that the universe wasn't revolving around her.

All during this, a gaggle of complete strangers were standing in the foyer. I have no clue who they were but my mother had told these people that it was OK to come over right in time for dinner for a dress fitting. So, while the rest of us stood, confused (and in the case of my father, irate) in the kitchen while this gaggle of women squawked away out front.

I have no clue how I ended up in this family. I think I deserved better. I can't imagine what my poor wife, who'd been sucked to the foyer, thinks at times like this.

Mind you, compared to what followed, this was normal.

We ate...well; anyone from my branch of the family ate. SIL and the kids opted to not eat their soup. OK.

To that point, I'd been good and hadn't had anything to drink. I was unable to hold off the DT's anymore and had some wine. So did SIL. Then she had some more. Then, a little more. Then...some more. Was I enabling her? You bet. Was she becoming drunk, and at one point slapped me, rather forcefully? Yup. Did she then clonk me on the head and rub my head, remarking how soft what remains of my hair was? Yup.

Dinner done, we noticed that my mother was gone. You see how much we all care about each other. A family member can literally vanish and it takes time to notice.

Her ass was sore due to a muscle pull she'd suffered some time ago but had refused all medical treatment for. A trip to the doctor that afternoon had apparently brought a bottle of Percocet to her stocking. She was doped up and asleep somewhere.

The rest of us huddled in the kitchen, seeking sanity. It, naturally, was at this point hat SIL decided to put on a parenting display. Sitting down with her sons (and a glass of vodka) she launched into some tirade about cell phones, jobs at Best Buy and class photos.

She'd seen her older son in July and her younger a year prior. Way to go Mom. You see the kids annually, roughly, and this is how you go about handling things.

It got worse.

At this point, I was sitting on a chair rocking. It soothed me.

My poor brother was going out to the garage every 10 minutes. I learned that his bourbon was out there in the freezer. He was downing a fist (a new unit of drink measurement) of bourbon every few minutes. He looked horrified but knew that there was nothing he could do to stop the horror that was taking place at the table. The drunken tirade went on, but now the 18 year old was fighting back, using a combination of logic, sobriety and sass on his mother. My father just shook his head and sipped his drink. There was nothing any of us could do.

I'm fairly certain Shmuppie was using this time to twirl around in circles in the living room. She was struggling to get any attention. Sorry, kid, the 547-car pileup happening at the table was too riveting not to watch.

At about 9:30, I'd had enough and went to get Moo out of her bed. I was time to go home. I got her and brought her downstairs. C, the older child, was sitting in the laundry room, his knees pulled to his chest in a look of utter surrender. D was somewhere, no doubt also beaten into submission. SIL and JewelrySlut were having some sort of heated conversation in the foyer. Well...conversation is not the right word. SIL was sloshing her drink and yelling while JewelrySlut looked on in horror.

JewelrySlut asked C if he wanted to come home with us and get away from the insanity.

He looked up at us with hope and regret in his eyes.

"Yes"
(Slurred) "No you can't!"
"I'm 18"
(At this moment, I'd taken Moo and had moved into the garage. I had figured that if I got her out of the house and into the car, JewelrySlut and Shmuppie would notice our absence and follow.)
"You're still in high school and under my control!" (Irony anyone?)
(I have the door to the driveway open and am crossing outside...I can hear them because I didn't close the door from the garage to the house)
"I don't even live with you!"
"For this weekend you do and..."

I shut the door to the house and the silence of a winter's night overtook me. I looked at my groggy daughter and she waved "Bye Bye" to the house. I strapped her into the car and we waited. It took another 2 minutes but it seemed that everyone noticed that we were gone and JewelrySlut and Shmuppie made their way to the car,

We drove home in silence. JewelrySlut and I were in bed by 10:15. I was too tired to go on.

PS: On the way home, my phone chirped. My brother had texted to say that SIL had demanded more wine and he'd told her to maybe slow down. He observed that he was in a lot of trouble as a result.

PPS: My father texted this morning. They're at the doctor getting my mother a MRI.

PPPS (Is that next??): We have to go over again this afternoon for the Christmas Eve festivities. It should be worse by a factor of at least 10.

I'd give just about anything to be anywhere but here right now. We've crossed from "They're our family and we love them" to "Get me the hell out of here. Who are these people?"

More to come.

PPPPS: Right now, the baby is wearing a pair of JewelrySlut's underwear on her head. She grabbed them out of the laundry basket.
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Postby PA Girl » Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:59 pm

So in addition to being a bad mother, your SIL is a nasty drunk, Fantastic! Or should I say Festastic!

Some questions that need to be answered-

1. A dress fitting? Is you mother a seamtress? Operating a bridal shop out of the basement?

2. Do you think your Bro was hiding the bourbon from Wifey?

3. Why was SIL hassling JS?

Since we don't see the really wacky Dog-ILs, our holidays are tame. Tomorrow might be mildly interesting.

My aunt, uncle, the uncle's parents, and two, over-educated, under-employeed cousins are coming for dinner.

Uncle is not happy about all of his college and master's degree educated kids living under his roof. My aunt, on the other hand, is thrilled.

At various times over the years, both boys worked for us. Because of this, my husband thinks he is entitled to express his opinion about their lack of motivation.

My husband will start in on how they need to get their heads out of their butts and get real jobs. My uncle (their father) will agree but hide behind his wine glass.

Then their grandfater will chime in about how he used to pick beans for two and a half cents an bushel and its too bad the steel mill closed down because that was a good job. (and it was)
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Postby pipanale » Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:25 pm

1: Seamstress...operating from the 3rd floor sewing room...open 7-days a week including extended hours during the holidays!

2: No...I just think it was banished to the garage to save room in the kitchen. He drinks from barrels and there's more room out there.

3: It's a perceived sisterhood thing. A 1-way perception at best.

I wish I could swallow one of those medical robot pills and have my real-time blood pressure somehow broadcast to the internet. That would be tits
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Postby Terry » Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:55 pm

3,659 hits? Pip...you should be a writer!

Our quiet, relaxing family of four are enjoying baking and making merry. Glad I have boring life!

Merry Christmas!
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Postby shoemak38 » Fri Dec 24, 2010 2:13 pm

Pip

Good news my 18 year old now believe we have a normal :roll: family after I had her read your posts, sound like you should write a made for TV Christmas movie :twisted:
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Postby Marcia (Mrs. Pete) » Fri Dec 24, 2010 11:26 pm

I love this thread.
Marcia (Mrs. Pete)

Missing St. John. As always.
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Postby JJShaw » Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:57 am

Ive read most of the posts on this thread and can feel for some of you...But Im glad to know im not the only one with a dysfunctional family..heres my story:
My ex has gotten behind again in his Child Support. He decided in 07 he was tired of me so he opted to go thru Child Support enforcement. What he didnt realize at the time is that we didnt even have a legal support order. So needless to say when CS office was thru with it..It was a court order and now no matter what...he must pay...so over the course of 3.5 yrs hes gotten behind, gotten intentionally fired..(made his brags about it too) taken lay offs as well ,so back in June he starts getting behind. By Oct CS office files papers against him and we are back in court. Now sad thing about all this is that court is held in a different county from where I live...About 240 miles away. We always stay at my moms.. but each time he gets behind I have to take time off work and go up there and eat the expense of the trip and time away from work. He currently owes me about 3G. Heres where the fun part starts. He and my family have remained friends and thats fine..I have no problem with that and am glad for it for my kids. But when you take an ex SIL and BIL on a cruise
along with his new GF. I think thats taking it alittle too far. Thats was a cpl yrs ago and I let it pass and didnt say too awfully much about it. Now keep in mind the ex doesnt visit the kids...he will call about every 2 or 3 weeks. Well as luck would have it...we had a court date this past monday the 20th. and I had decided I would just bring the kids gifts from everyone in the mtns down here and not make the 500 mile trip in 2 times in a week. Once we were there...My mom practially begged please please come back...blah blah blah.. She had gone all out for the kids and made plans as to how she was gonna let them open the gifts and such..bought Santa Hats for each...and so on..Christmas Eve at my moms is a bigger deal than Christmas Day..always has been. So I felt kinda guilty and caved in and agreed to drive back up there..even with the weather turning to crap.
We arrive and all is well (we think) until she says my ex is supposed to bring the kids gifts..fine..although he hasnt called them all week and was supposed to get them on the 17th and keep them til Christmas Eve(no call no show on that one either)
What I didnt realize was she apparently had invited them for dinner along with his wife. She had gifts for them and of course acted like nothing was wrong..and I had told her in the past that if he was there I wouldnt be so she knows how i feel about them being there for family functions. I dont begrudge him visits with my kids. but he has his time for his family with them and I feel like I should have mine without him there..He just chooses to not drive and meet me..It just floors me that she would do such a thing and expect me to act as if nothing is wrong..Im not sure that I will go back after last nights events. We drove home about (4hrs) The weather is supposed to get bad and we didnt get in til about 2:30am. Good news is the Change of Venue is being filed ,once in order he will have to come to my county for court so no more traveling for me...and his case that we went to court for on monday.. he wanted a reduction in CS..was Denied by the Judge...:)
Now for the other Drama. I have a grandaughter who I think the world revolves around shes 3 and my 1st.. so grandma loves her baby.. my DIL and son have recently split up, She has a new Beau which is fine..as long as hes good to the baby...I could care less. Now as I said before we had changed our plans and decided to go back to the Mtns on monday after court. DIL was aware of this and had NP with us getting the baby to take to my moms, til we got there.. and she decided that her new bf's family was more important than us I guess and wouldnt let us have her for a few hrs and also told me that until papers were signed no one was seeing her...This absolutely broke my heart as I had looked forward to seeing her all week. So needless to say there will be more drama there..I have never taken sides and always tried to be nice...have bitten my tounge a few times because of the baby..have taken her on a Disney cruise when they were split up before also had her and the baby here at my house while there were split. Even took the baby a power wheels jeep on our last visit. Hopefully today will be better as Hubbys family is quiet normal..It feels good to be home..and at this point Im not sure I want to go back to the Mtns...for Christmas or anything else..Thanks for letting me rant..
Merry Christmas Everyone!!
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Postby pipanale » Sat Dec 25, 2010 2:02 pm

There's fallout from the 23rd, Christmas Eve and more fun to come today. Until then, everyone, enjoy a crazy day.

I'll be back
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Postby loria » Sat Dec 25, 2010 2:34 pm

ok...stunned silence..jaw on floor
< leaving on the 22nd of march...but too lame to figure out the ticker thing again!>
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Postby bubblybrenda » Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:21 am

I read the entire thread, laughed over it and thought that I could never possibly have anything to add to it... that was until last night.

I was invited to my cousin's for Christmas Eve dinner. Granted, I don't really know this cousin that well. We grew up 1000's of miles apart and only connected in the past 3 years. To put it bluntly, her husband is a nerd! I can't carry on a conversation with the guy; others in the family have said the exact same thing. They were cooking turkey. Although there were only 5 adults she said it was "potluck". What? It's 5 people. I asked if I could bring an appetizer or something for dinner. She replied enthusiastically "oh, bring an appetizer". When I finally got out of her what time I should arrive she repies "Glen (the nerd) says 6:00 PM but you're family so why don't you come at 5:30". What? When are we supposed to eat the appetizer? So I dutifully arrive sharply at 6:00 and he's already got the bird out of the pan and is carving it. I was the first guest to arrive. 10 minutes later the other guests arrive, by 6:40 PM we're eating and by 8:30 we are saying our goodbyes. Yes the turkey was cold by the time it got to our plates because he carved it and let it sit uncovered on the counter. He also pointed to the cupboard and said "the plates are in there and the forks are in there (pointing to the drawer). What? Definitely the weirdest Christmas Eve I've ever had.
~Brenda~
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