usvi-on-line
Aging parents
Re: Aging parents
Wow Michigan, you sure have your hands full.
I can't believe your sister. Sounds worse than the situation I'm in. At least all 3 of us are on the same page with a home. Mom doesn't have a lot of money and none of us are rich, but we'll try to work this out.
The best thing I did was insist on a companion. She's amazing. I just called her to tell her Mom fell today. Mom is ok and my brother was able to get her up. One of the things I suggest is getting an alert bracelet in their home. Gives you some peace of kind.
There will come a time where you just have to make the decisions.
Yes, off to Florida tomorrow to see cousins. I feel good about this now because there's really nothing that I can control when I'm down there. Just hope for the best.
Good luck to you!
I can't believe your sister. Sounds worse than the situation I'm in. At least all 3 of us are on the same page with a home. Mom doesn't have a lot of money and none of us are rich, but we'll try to work this out.
The best thing I did was insist on a companion. She's amazing. I just called her to tell her Mom fell today. Mom is ok and my brother was able to get her up. One of the things I suggest is getting an alert bracelet in their home. Gives you some peace of kind.
There will come a time where you just have to make the decisions.
Yes, off to Florida tomorrow to see cousins. I feel good about this now because there's really nothing that I can control when I'm down there. Just hope for the best.
Good luck to you!
"Paradise...it's a state of mine"
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GidgetPicklebrain
- Posts: 170
- Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:54 am
- Location: Frederick, MD
Re: Aging parents
I am new to this thread, but not new to the dementia experience. My mother had Alzheimer's disease, my father had Vascular Dementia. I was the Powere of Attorney for theire legal and financial affairs, my sister was Power of Attorney for their medical care.
I found an incredible amount of information and support by participating in the Alzheimer's Association's caregiver forum. I discovered that there are an incredible number of medical profesisonals that do not have a clue what dementia is all about or how to treat it. I discovered that to get proper diagnosis and treatment you have to do a LOT of independent research and not take ANYTHING a doctor tells you at face value or assume it is correct.
For example - many doctors will throw either Namenda or Arricept or both at a dementia patient and call that a treatment plan. Well, that is fine if the patient actually has Alzheimer's disease, but if they have Frontotemporal Dementia it can actuallly make them worse. And in later stages of the disease, those drugs won't help much, if at all, in any case and are just an additional expense with additional drug side effects to deal with. You say your mother has been diagnosed with "late stage dementia" - but what type of dementia is it? Dementia is a set of symptoms, not a specific disease.
It is none of my business, of course, and you have already made the decision to keep her in her home - but a late-stage dementia patient is really not safe alone at any time. The caregiving you have already set up is good, but unless she has that sort of supervision around-the-clock, she could turn on the stove and forget it is on, she could wake up disoriented in the night and wander off... she could suddenly not recognize her home of 64 years and decide to walk "home," she could let apotentially dangerous perfect stranger into the home. There is no way to predict what odd notion will get inot their head and what they decide to do about it.
I feel for you. Caring for a dementia patient is one of the most stressful situations a person can experience. It is unrelenting, and it never gets better, only worse. You would amazed to learn the number of caregivers who die before their charges or develop serious medical issues simply form the stress of it all. Do what you can to find common ground amongst your siblings and support each other. Too many families are torn apart by the experience. I was fortunate in that my sister and I, although we differed in our approach, found enough common ground to strengthen each other.
The single most helpful reference I found related to dementia caregiving was "Understanding the Dementia Experience" by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller. I am attempting to attach the PDF I have of it to this post. It is short, written in easy to understand language and does a good job of addressing the emotional as well as medical aspects of dementia. I recommend you take the time to read it and share it with your siblings.
I found an incredible amount of information and support by participating in the Alzheimer's Association's caregiver forum. I discovered that there are an incredible number of medical profesisonals that do not have a clue what dementia is all about or how to treat it. I discovered that to get proper diagnosis and treatment you have to do a LOT of independent research and not take ANYTHING a doctor tells you at face value or assume it is correct.
For example - many doctors will throw either Namenda or Arricept or both at a dementia patient and call that a treatment plan. Well, that is fine if the patient actually has Alzheimer's disease, but if they have Frontotemporal Dementia it can actuallly make them worse. And in later stages of the disease, those drugs won't help much, if at all, in any case and are just an additional expense with additional drug side effects to deal with. You say your mother has been diagnosed with "late stage dementia" - but what type of dementia is it? Dementia is a set of symptoms, not a specific disease.
It is none of my business, of course, and you have already made the decision to keep her in her home - but a late-stage dementia patient is really not safe alone at any time. The caregiving you have already set up is good, but unless she has that sort of supervision around-the-clock, she could turn on the stove and forget it is on, she could wake up disoriented in the night and wander off... she could suddenly not recognize her home of 64 years and decide to walk "home," she could let apotentially dangerous perfect stranger into the home. There is no way to predict what odd notion will get inot their head and what they decide to do about it.
I feel for you. Caring for a dementia patient is one of the most stressful situations a person can experience. It is unrelenting, and it never gets better, only worse. You would amazed to learn the number of caregivers who die before their charges or develop serious medical issues simply form the stress of it all. Do what you can to find common ground amongst your siblings and support each other. Too many families are torn apart by the experience. I was fortunate in that my sister and I, although we differed in our approach, found enough common ground to strengthen each other.
The single most helpful reference I found related to dementia caregiving was "Understanding the Dementia Experience" by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller. I am attempting to attach the PDF I have of it to this post. It is short, written in easy to understand language and does a good job of addressing the emotional as well as medical aspects of dementia. I recommend you take the time to read it and share it with your siblings.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Confucius
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GidgetPicklebrain
- Posts: 170
- Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:54 am
- Location: Frederick, MD
Re: Aging parents
So much for attaching a file. YOu can find it by googling. It is a free download for some e-readers.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Confucius
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PaminMaine
- Posts: 398
- Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:19 pm
- Location: Maine
Re: Aging parents
Hello Connie,
So sorry to hear of your moms decline. I work with this population in a rehabilitation facility and it very complex and sad disease. I would like to mention that as therapists when we notice a quick change in cognition, or aggitation we always have the urine dipped!! A UTI in the elderly has a dramatic affect on them. Also of note the blood pressure.. Any postural change ( sit to stand ) can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure which may result in the person feeling faint, and falling. it is a fine line balancing medications, and nutrition. I too, would echo Gidgetpicklebrains thoughts about having around the clock care for a late stage dementia. Especially because their cognition fluctuates so much and alot of alzheimiers patients experience 'sun downing' which means that they are worse from early evening throughout the night.
My mom is 82, and she is starting to show some early signs of dementia. She also has expressed her concerns for not wanting to 'live in a nursing home.' I plan to get her around the clock care when it comes to that stage.
Wishing you strength at this time to deal with diffucult the situation and try to enjoy the times when your mom has moments of clarity.
So sorry to hear of your moms decline. I work with this population in a rehabilitation facility and it very complex and sad disease. I would like to mention that as therapists when we notice a quick change in cognition, or aggitation we always have the urine dipped!! A UTI in the elderly has a dramatic affect on them. Also of note the blood pressure.. Any postural change ( sit to stand ) can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure which may result in the person feeling faint, and falling. it is a fine line balancing medications, and nutrition. I too, would echo Gidgetpicklebrains thoughts about having around the clock care for a late stage dementia. Especially because their cognition fluctuates so much and alot of alzheimiers patients experience 'sun downing' which means that they are worse from early evening throughout the night.
My mom is 82, and she is starting to show some early signs of dementia. She also has expressed her concerns for not wanting to 'live in a nursing home.' I plan to get her around the clock care when it comes to that stage.
Wishing you strength at this time to deal with diffucult the situation and try to enjoy the times when your mom has moments of clarity.
