Tell me I am going to be OK

[XOXO]

My baby is leaving the nest tomorrow for "summer bridge" at iowa university. I have not really allowed myself to think about how much I will miss him. I have tried to focus on what a great adventure he is on. Tonight I stopped at the grocery store and started looking for Austin's favorite things and I got overwhelmed knowing that I am pretty much done doing that every day. I have been crying pretty much all night. I made it out of the store without anyone seeing me cry besides the lady outside smoking and i think she was crying too. Our lives are changing dramatically. I am going to miss him. He is such a fun young man and makes me laugh every day. I have had a blast raising my two boys.

I am happy for him and he is so excited. This is what I want for him. He is going to do great things. I knew this day would come and it is here now. I have missed my oldeer son for 5 years and now my baby is grown up too. My oldest son graduated from college in May and works full time. Of course he isn't able to come home as much as he use to. He is doing great and I am happy for him. I know how this will go. I need to appreciate the next 4 years while my baby is at college because I will see him even less when he graduates from college. Everything is as I should be and I understand and and appreciate that. I should be happy I don't have my two beautiful boys living in the basement. I need to get my chin up and celebrate the wonderful young men my husband and I have raised. Raising them had been the best time of my life. I am so blessed.

Please say a prayer for them to have happy and successful lives. And please pray that I get stronger so this baby of mine get a proper send off tomorrow. I want to pull myself together and approach this as the happy event it is. What a great opportunity he has.

Tell me I am going to be ok.

[philbetm]

I won't tell you that you will be OK....( but you will survive this) As a mother of two girls...33 and 37 now...I felt the same way as they started leaving the nest. But what I can tell you is that ...YOU WILL SOON START MAKING A DIFFERENT KIND OF MEMORIES WITH THEM ! As they become adults ...you start sharing a whole different kind of life events with them. A lot of firsts...just like when they were babies. Trips together become very special...as you start looking at things in the same way as adults instead of Parent and Child. Then as their life moves on a little and they have their own family...you will feel joy again as a grandparent...the kind you thought you would never feel again ....but it is just as emotionally overwhelming to see a newborn grandchild as it was to see your own newborn sons !! God Bless....enjoy the NEW RIDE that life is going to give you now !

Sherry in SC

[DonnaM]

I understand how you feel! I have 2 boys, 1 who just graduated college and the other will be a sophomore this year. It is sad in the beginning but it gets easier. You should be proud of the great job you did as a parent to have raised good, hardworking kids! Also, in my experience, my boys missed me too and were much more openly affectionate when we did see them on weekends and breaks. My younger son insisted I get an IPhone so we could FaceTime. I have also become the dorm baking mom and I take requests!
Take advantage of the empty nest and plan a trip!

[Lindy]

You are going to be OK......you are going to be MORE than OK!! Not only is your son entering a new and exciting phase in his life, but YOU are on the threshold of what could become the most enriched and satisfying phase of your own life. Dry those tears, kiss your son and let him know that you'll always be there for him and then you can BOTH look to the horizon and take that first scary step. I felt that same lost feeling when my youngest went off to the Army (be glad your baby isn't going off to Iraq!!) and wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. You read all of the articles about how mothers "lose themselves" while raising their children and you don't really have time to fully realize that until they're gone and you and your spouse are left looking at each other saying "Now what???". I discovered that this is the point where most women truly become "themselves".....you weren't lost before, just didn't have time to fully develop because you were tending to the needs of others. This is the time to do many of things that you haven't had the time to do before.....take classes, read, learn new skills, develop new friendships (especially with the other women in your life), travel, volunteer and you will amaze yourself with all of the things that you never thought you could do. If you look at this phase as an opportunity rather than a loss you are going to be much happier....and so will your spouse and your children. Think of all those sad women who hover around their husbands and children always hoping for someone else to fulfill them.....ain't gonna happen and they make everyone else miserable by doing that. Find your bliss as the saying goes and when your family sees how happy and excited YOU are it will inspire them to do the same in their lives. Isn't that also part of being a great parent?

[jimg20]

We raised three women with the goal of them becoming smart, independent, well-adjusted women with their own lives. When we realized that we had done that, we did not have a feeling of loss. We celebrated their success. They are not supposed to stay with us. The expectation is that they will have their own lives. With our eyes on the goal - or finish line if you will - we became proud and excited that we were able to do it. We have seen so many others who had boomerang children or needed to support them far beyond what is expected. You have clearly been successful parents. Enjoy that and see what is next for you.

You will be OK!

JIM

[XOXO]

Thank you so much! I posted a response yesterday and lost it. We are getting ready to go to the Ozarks. I will have time to type a more appropriate response by the pool. You have helped me so much. It was great hearing from some of my old friends!

I will be back soon!