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HAPPY HALLOWEEN 
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6287508444/" title="jokesmay by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6057/628 ... 9545_b.jpg" width="713" height="532" alt="jokesmay"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6287508444/" title="jokesmay by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6057/628 ... 9545_b.jpg" width="713" height="532" alt="jokesmay"></a>
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Marcia (Mrs. Pete)
- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 9:40 pm
- Location: Madison Area, Wisconsin
Also in SNH and we got power back yesterday afternoon! Thank goodness. We lost it for 9 days in the ice storm and almost went bonkers.
The only good thing about losing power in the cold weather is being able to put all your groceries outside so they don't spoil
.
I hope you get yours back sooner than Friday!
The only good thing about losing power in the cold weather is being able to put all your groceries outside so they don't spoil
.I hope you get yours back sooner than Friday!
we have power 5 day and 15 minutes after we lost powershoemak38 wrote:no jokes this week no power, phones or internet due to 19" of wet snow sat night, We are being told we will see power Friday.
No trees on our house two near misses
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shoemak38 wrote:no jokes this week no power, phones or internet due to 19" of wet snow sat night, We are being told we will see power Friday.
No trees on our house two near misses
tree front of our house
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6319027018/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6216/631 ... dfbc_b.jpg" width="768" height="1024" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6319027888/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6211/631 ... 5d8c_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6319032252/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6098/631 ... 83e9_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6318504543/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6035/631 ... c3c3_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6318501701/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6218/631 ... 3003_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
view of our back yard
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6318500617/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6110/631 ... 256a_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6318503599/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6112/631 ... 5bb2_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6319023324/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6045/631 ... 743c_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6318500617/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6110/631 ... 256a_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
views from road
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/6318510593/" title="oct snow 2011 by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6224/631 ... dee8_b.jpg" width="1024" height="768" alt="oct snow 2011"></a>
forgot tree on in-laws house
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SEX Education
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex.....she objects.
4. Impotence: nature's way of saying...."No hard feelings"
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once....but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.....many men still sleep with their wives!
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex.....she objects.
4. Impotence: nature's way of saying...."No hard feelings"
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once....but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.....many men still sleep with their wives!
Rubber Gloves
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile
when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't," she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and
workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,
then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"
You gotta watch those little old ladies - they have a helluva outlook on life!!!
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile
when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't," she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and
workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,
then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"
You gotta watch those little old ladies - they have a helluva outlook on life!!!
HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS
(Taken from actual hospital charts)
• The patient refused autopsy.
• The patient has no previous history of suicides.
• Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
• She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
• The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
(Taken from actual hospital charts)
• The patient refused autopsy.
• The patient has no previous history of suicides.
• Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
• She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• Skin: somewhat pale but present.
• The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.