need advice from old forum friends!

djmom · Post by **djmom** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:45 am

Hi everyone, long time!

I have been laying low from most of my usual internet activities to get my life back

But I have a little issue that is just so stupid I can't ask my local friends.

My sweet 14 year old is totally obsessed with this new band One Direction. When I say obsessed I mean this is all she has thought about for the last 3 weeks- a "lifetime"...ha ha. But I have never seen her like this.

It is pure stupid but very serious to her. They are coming in concert and she and her friends have been obsessing on what it will be like, how they are so sure they will be noticed in the crowd, ha ha....typical crazy teen stuff. Let's just say I predict this group is going to be the next Justin Bieber...or more.

Soooo, of course they will be in Charlotte the week we are on vacation. She is devastated. They will be in Virginia and there is an opportuntiy to go (her aunt will take her and her friend) but she would have to miss TWO days of school (high school) and she is on a schedule where she goes to the same 4 classes each day so it is very intense and fast paced. Not to mention the pain in the rear to get her and her friend to Virginia.

The girls have agreed to pay for their tickets IF they were to go.

So. My dilemma....say no way (school is way too important, you have planty of wonderful trips, opportunities in your life, you could blow your grades--she is doing very well) OR say yes, (you are a great kid and only a kid once and who wouldn't want to have a "Beatles" experience of screaming your head off for two hours...yada yada.)

I am REALLY conflicted and would like to hear some opinions.

PS. my husband thinks it is crazy and a bad idea but can accept it since her aunt would be taking her to the concert and thus safety not an issue.

PSS. She has not missed any school this year except a class or two for doctors appointments.

Please help!!!

waterguy · Post by **waterguy** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:57 am

I didn't have girls so I don't get the emotional side of it my boy's at 14 wouldn't have been able to go even if they didn't have to miss school

djmom · Post by **djmom** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:00 am

Ha Waterguy, I know what you are saying but this day and age...my daughter is probably one of the very few 9th graders who has never been to a concert. I'm not saying she "deserves" it though!

bevm · Post by **bevm** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:11 am

If her school work won't suffer, let her go. I took my niece to see Katy Perry and it was her first concert and the highlight of her year. Your daughter won't remember a Geometry class but she'll remember the time she saw One Direction for the rest of her life.

TouristTrapCheryl · Post by **TouristTrapCheryl** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:12 am

.
My vote is for you to let her go to the concert.

If she doesn't go this will fester with her for a long time. If she does go it will be a
happy memory for the rest of her life.

For me, I was 15 and it was The Who - their final tour. My parents let my sister take
me and it is such a positive memory for me every time I hear one of their songs or
someone mentions The Who. If my parents had not allowed me to go to the concert,
hearing one of their songs or someone mentioning The Who would make me
sad and disappointed to this day.

Live music is such a great experience. She will have the time of her life
and happy memories that will last that long. -c

(You should ask Larry about his mom not letting him go to Woodstock when he was 15. It is one of the saddest stories I've ever heard.)

jimg20 · Post by **jimg20** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:19 am

It looks like you are talking about the May 24 Fairfax date (I Googled it.) The problem may be that final exams are coming up. This could be a critical time in the semmester. The other side of that is that if she is a good student, she may not be affected by that. The other factor to consider is that, although every year is important, the 9th grade year is less important than the remaining three. Another condsideration is how well will she be focused on school work if she is at home daydreaming about Fairfax?

This may all be a moot discussion. Can she still get tickets?

Good luck.

JIM

byado18 · Post by **byado18** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:23 am

What's the impact of 2 days of unexcused absence? Maybe she can take responsibility for finding that out and then discussing what that will mean, if anything! A chance to understand that choices have consequences!

As a mother who said NO far too much, if all the logistics can be worked out and she realizes that this is an exception and not something that can happen eveytime there is something she desperately wants......let her go!

liamsaunt · Post by **liamsaunt** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:23 am

Let her go! I remember how thrilled I was when I got to go to my first concert at that age (Huey Lewis and the News, haha!). You say they will be escorted by an adult, which is good. I don't think missing two days is that huge of a deal if she is a good student--as long as she won't miss exams or anything like that.

And, I totally am aware of the One Direction craze! Oh my gosh I have not seen anything like this in a while. Girls that age are obsessed with them! One of our local radio stations did a meet and greet with them a couple of weeks ago and the place was swarmed with crazed fans! Way more people showed up than were expected.

I have only heard one of their songs and I curse every time it comes on because it stays in my head the rest of the day.

mit43 · Post by **mit43** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:26 am

Nope! Sorry, but this is the perfect time to teach an important life lesson about priorities and not sacrificing the immediate at the expense of her future.

There will be plenty of concerts in her future and I guarantee the next "Big Thing" will change every year....

I know, I'm a stick in the mud, but her education is far more important, especially in her type of class situation. Missing two days of accelerated classes is like missing two weeks of regular school..

jaq w · Post by **jaq w** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:30 am

I'm with BevM on this. This is a once in a lifetime experience - those are sometimes more important than school. I always let my girls take time off from school for special thing, such as trips... It never hurt their grades and they had a much broader scope of experiences by the time they went to college. Maybe that was what kept them out of trouble when they got there - don't know for sure. My belief is the tighter the reign the worse the rebellion.

Of course it is easy for me to say that - my daughters are now successful young women, ages 30 & 35, with wonderful guys (older one is married, younger one is in a serious relationship with wedding talk in the air - when the guy talks about wedding stuff with the girl's mom - I'm pretty confident). Their entire rebellion consisted of each getting a bellybutton ring and the younger a tatoo (cute one). They both have a strong work ethic and their own homes. And both girls missed probably a week of school each year.

I vote let her go. You get to be the cool mom. The mom who gets to hear all of not only their problems but their friends too. When you know this stuff as it is happening potential problems get discussed before catastrophes, not after. I also told my girls that in a pinch it is always perfectly acceptable to say my mom's a real hard a$$ about this so I can't go/have to go home/ believe me she'll find out...

OK - I'm being a bit too wordy here - I think maybe I need grandchildren. lol

Good luck and enjoy.

djmom · Post by **djmom** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:35 am

You guys rock, I don't feel as guilty anymore for even considering it.

I just called the school and they haven't set exam dates yet but I do fear this is going to be too close to that time. She would miss the 24th and 25th of May, then there is Memorial day Monday off and then exams start that Friday at the latest. The secretary thought it would be Friday but she can't promise. I think that is probably too risky. She is in some really tough honors classes.

Becky, I think you are right, this group is going to be huge. As Dana said they are "hot" and their British accents make them "even hotter"....ha ha.

I appreciate everyone's support- I think I would send her if I could....I have to say I wish I was a kid again. That excitement...it is something else!

loria · Post by **loria** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:43 am

as a mother of a sophomore, i feel your pain.....
Think carefully about the school loss- will it really be two days and is there ANYTHING critical that will be missed (i took my Daughter out of school for about 6 days around christmas to go to India-- not one of my shining parent moments--the school make up was HARSH though the trip was once in a lifetime)
She sounds like a good student-- so she probably won't have issues with two days-- get assignemtns in advance so she can have them done prior--
then GO GO GO!!!
there is nothing like live music!!

Florida Girl · Post by **Florida Girl** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:36 am

Definitely let her go. My mom drove my girlfriend and I up to Hollywood to see The Beatles and it's one of my very best memories! I was about 14 also. If she's a good student & getting good grades, then I doubt her school work will suffer much...make a deal with her to really work hard at catching up if she's allowed to go. Talk about a homework incentive!! You won't regret letting her go, but you'll never hear the end of it if you don't.

Oh, and I also thought Ringo would see me in the crowd and ask me to marry him.

I remember being up in the nosebleed section at the Hollywood Bowl saying to my girlfriend, "If there was no one else here, it'd be just US and THEM! They're right here, breathing the same air we are!" LOL!

You have to let her go!

PA Girl · Post by **PA Girl** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:47 am

Is she good student that takes school seriously? Assuming she can make up the work, I would let her go.

Two days away from school isn't going to matter that much over the long run.

mindehankins · Post by **mindehankins** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:13 pm

I agree with the let her go unless she'd miss an actual exam day. I'd further that with, if there is any way at ALL that YOU can take her, do so. This may well be a moment that she remembers for the rest of her life, and it will be even that much more special if you are a part of that memory.
For my daughter, it was Damien Rice, and neither she nor I will never ever EVER forget it. I drove her to Detroit for the concert. I'm teary just remembering it.

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