When Not To Go To Visitation....

greyhoundmom · Post by **greyhoundmom** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:38 pm

Awesome friend who passed a week ago. 67 years old, she never smoked, lung cancer. Surgery, chemo, radiation, she had six good months before a brain tumor. I spoke with her 3 months ago for the last time and I didn't realize it would be our last conversation. She gave me wonderful wisdom, write a letter to your children and tell them all the reasons you love them and how proud and privileged you are to have been a part of their lives. We were both facing cancer issues and she was so supportive of my issue.

Wow, one of those moments when you look back and see that the person who didn't have much time was trying to coach you through your issues.

Visitation is tomorrow. I will sob and be a big hot mess if I go, just don't think I can talk to her children without breaking down. I want to go in the worst way to honor her but I can' hold it together. I think I'll drink a Dark and Stormy, her favorite, and honor her at home.

shoemak38 · Post by **shoemak38** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:41 pm

go you need to

brenda · Post by **brenda** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:55 pm

You should go, I'm sure her children would appreciate it. Why worry about crying? Shows you care!!!

loria · Post by **loria** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 11:16 pm

GO, please go. it will mean the world for her kids--and for you.

Marcia (Mrs. Pete) · Post by **Marcia (Mrs. Pete)** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 2:27 am

When I pass away, I hope that my friends & family are not afraid to express themselves in whatever venue my survivors put together in my "honor." I know for certain, that I do not want anyone who knows me, left at home, grieving alone, because they were afraid of their emotions.

The most wonderful part of the memorial process is that it is a memorial. Remember, share and connect. You cannot do that alone. Please go.

Berlingirl · Post by **Berlingirl** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:09 am

Go...I'm always a mess at visitations and in the past few years been to too many to count. You can drink a dark and stormy at home afterwards. You'll be glad you went.

AH · Post by AH » Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:45 am

Please read again what Marcia (Mrs.Pete) wrote.
AH

AH · Post by AH » Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:47 am

So sorry for your loss.
AH

Kealani · Post by **Kealani** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:52 am

I hope you decide to go, emotion is not something to be ashamed of. Wishing you peace in time.

Joppa · Post by **Joppa** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:56 am

Oh Please go. You will be full of regret if you don't and it will make your grieving process worse. My friend died at 41 from breast cancer. I went and sat in my car. I couldn't face her family and turned and left. Later I found out her brother was looking for me. I would have made a difference to him. This is one of my biggest regrets in life. Please go.

sailorgirl · Post by **sailorgirl** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:51 am

Go... Be a hot mess... Sounds like she was deserving. last year when I lost my younger brother very suddenly, it brought me comfort to see how moved people were by his loss, it reinforced how special he was and how many lives he touched. he was a coach and to see all the young boys and some, now young men, he influenced over the years moved to tears, and yes many sobbing, was something I will hold in my heart forever.

greyhoundmom · Post by **greyhoundmom** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:14 pm

I am going. Counting the hours until 4:00 pm. Thank you all for the encouragement. Of course, you are all right on the money and I knew that. It's just going to be so difficult.....Thank you again.

AH · Post by AH » Sat Jul 23, 2011 7:05 pm

So how did it go?
AH

GraysonDave · Post by **GraysonDave** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 9:49 pm

I think you made the right decision. I hope you feel that way now that it's done. Bless you and your friend.

California Girl · Post by **California Girl** » Fri Dec 22, 2023 7:15 am

I bet you weren't the only hot mess at the service. How did it go?

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When Not To Go To Visitation....

When Not To Go To Visitation....