How does this happen?

[chicagoans]

Great advice Sailorgirl!

Good luck tonight Pip and let us know how it goes.

[cass]

I agree with Sailorgirl. Repetitive Persistence. It is a very useful communicating technique. I have definitely been in your shoes. A family member of mine needed a place to live. I had a tiny little apartment. I agreed to help her out for one year. I insisted she get a job. I drove her to the public aid office and made her get food stamps. I rented a larger (2 bdrm) house so we would be comfortable, which forced me to save less of my money. Within 1 month of moving, she headed back to the bad situation she was in, leaving me stuck with a lease on a house I didn't need. Four months later, while I was on vacation, she broke into my home and began living there. I drove her a@# to a womans shelter 45 minutes away. It was hard, but you can't be an enabler.

[soxfan22]

I think the best thing that could happen to you is for you to "accidentally" leave this thread open on your computer/laptop.

Sounds like they're probably using yours based on their financial situation.

"oh, shoot...you weren't supposed to read that...".

Make it happen.

On a serious note - good luck pip...that is an unenviable situation.

[Jamestown]

They are CLEARLY taking advantage of you. They are adults and know what they're doing. I'd give them 24 hours to make housing arrangements, give them a lift and $50 then change my locks.

[mrsb]

Pip, I wish you and your family the best of luck. The advice people are giving is good. We had the same situation with an immediate family member who mooched and lied to us for almost 2 years. It almost ended our marriage and our business and we've been through a lot together. There are jobs out there. Don't want to clean toilets or shovel sh*t? then starve-too bad! I've done what I've had to do to pay the bills and that includes both the aforementioned jobs. It was not beneath me. You have a small child to think about too. I've seen people who keep giving and the mooch always keeps taking. So what if they don't thank you later for kicking them out at least you will be rid of them. They will never learn if you don't do what you need to do. I believe strongly in the saying that no good deed goes unpunished. The bigger the deed, the worse the punishment. I still do good deeds but it doesn't include this kind of situation anymore. Good luck.

[promoguy]

Don't kid yourself. They know what they're doing. Enabling never helps. Catch a few episodes of Intervention on A&E and your wife will be cured.

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[sherban]

Jorge- Dude, you need a dose of Dr Phil....

Just kidding.

Pip- I agree- put their asses out.

Seriously, I think mooching is an addiction/illness like gambling or something...it's messed up.

I used to have this jobless slob across the street in VA...would come over and bitch to me about the sh*t jobs they tried to get him to do...and how getting a welfare check was easier...wuh...he didn't get that I was paying his welfare check while he sat home on his ass and drank beer and smoked cigaretts all day.


I swear, it is some learned sickness or something.

[Jo Ann - VA]

Hell, I live about 2 1/2 hours from you. I'll help you put there asses on the street. No problem. I'm serious. call me 540-230-3597 ps. I owe you that much for breaking your bra

Hey Jorge, my husband says to give him a call and he'll ride down there with you and help!
We're about an hour from you - towards Lynchburg. It's a straight shot to 29 south.

Jo Ann

[verjoy]

It sounds as if alot of us have had to deal with this situation. Ours went on for 2 1/2 years, but our nephew was at least in school. He was a pretty good kid but just wanted to drift along with only a part time job for 3 months after college graduation. It was partly our fault, as we had never laid down any rules, or required anything from him.

My husband gave the "talk" about making plans but nothing happened. Finally, I had to "man up" and tell him I was going to paint his room and I wanted him out of it!

He immediately started getting his stuff together and was out in 2 days.

We still have a close relationship with him and his folks.

[DCphoto]

Jorge,
Not to be a downer, but you really need to protect your privacy online, do not give personal information like your phone number, maybe a private message. Ask anthony to remove it for you. I hate for you to get wierd phone calls in the middle of the night, or maybe your into that kind of thing

[RickG]

Jorge doesn't answer his calls anyways. I had to stalk his wife to find him last Sunday!

Pip, we're hoping things are working out for you. I have a similar situation developing for the "Thanksgiving Family Get Toghether." What if the deadbeat doesn't leave?

Cheers, RickG

[pipanale]

Well...I'm going to stand here and pull down my pants and point my ass towards the computer. Feel free to line up and kick it (assuming you all don't go blind)

Last night was a big steaming pile of nothing.

Work imploded on me at about 5:30 and I was still here hammering away and juggling calls at 6:30 when the caravan arrived. M&K came home and the Mrs and the Monster got home from swimming.

I knew dinner was coming, as well as K's voice. I also still had work to do. And I knew that if I went upstairs someone was going to die.

(For anyone else who works at home, you may know the feeling. When work is extremely stressful, it's all but impossible to go from "work mode" to "Dad/husband mode" simply by walking up the stairs. Some days, I actually miss my commute. At least it gave me somewhere to unwind and yell)

Anyhoo...

I went upstairs at 7:00 to announce that I was not hungry and that they could all eat without me. Then, I took a seat on the sofa and watched Scrubs. I needed to unwind. At 7:30, I went up to bathe the child (Hadn't seen her all day and took the opportunity of shower time to teach her the story of Medusa...don't ask)

By 8:00 when she was tucked in and the Mrs was in the shower, M&K had gone to their room. I think they were hiding from Hurricane Rob. You could see it in my eyes that I was out for blood.

However, K did mention to the Mrs that they are "trying to get out of our hair" really soon.

So, here's the latest:
M is in court this morning, apparently settling up his case and having his record expunged. We're not sure he finished his community service (nor do we care)

Their lawyer is filing an injunction today to stop Saturday's lawn sale from happening. This is based on the theory that the whole process happened out of procedure (notification-wise)

They meet with said lawyer this afternoon to continue to discuss their case.

I really hope to have a better day today so I can sit them down and figure this out. I leave for PA on Sunday. That's the "soft date" for them to leave. The "hard date" is Oct 31 because we're heading out of town the following day for a weekend at the beach.

Better day? I have conf calls starting at 9:00. I'm triple-booked at 10, double-booked at 1:00, have a 2-3 and a 3-4.

Banner friggin day.

And, on another note, they don't have keys nor are they allowed in the house without us.

Kick away! I deserve it.

[jimg20]

Well...I'm going to stand here and pull down my pants and point my ass towards the computer. Feel free to line up and kick it (assuming you all don't go blind)

No ass kicking from me. I am very carefully reaching much higher (so as not to touch anything on the way by ) to give you a pat on the back. Tonight might be a better time to do this. There will be some sort of result from the court today. That will be your justification to have the talk.

Please be careful. As you've heard from others, I've seen this movie before. It doesn't end well for our heros. If your house is like most of our houses, they could have gotten their hands on a key and duplicated it. Please change the locks when they leave.

JIM

[augie]

It sounds like if nothing else, they are aware of their status of "less than welcome guests", so that's a step in the right direction.

If I ever meet you, the first round is on me - just for karma!